Sirius yawned, and rose to his feet to make a cup of coffee. In an hour he’d have to go on a mission, but he was hoping he’d see her beforehand. She’d kissed him goodbye the day before and she was planning on only spending the night so she should be swinging by any time.
There was a knock at the door.
He didn’t think anything of it. Yes, most of his friends just came through the fireplace, but on occasion they’d been known to use the door, and this was one of those occasions.
Opening the door, a smile popped to his face when he saw it was James. But it dropped, when he got a good look at him. His eyes were cracked red, his cheeks cherry and lips colorless. He’d had tears in his eyes when he told Sirius about Dorcas, but he didn’t look like this. The last time he’d seen James like this, their mother had died.
”...Who?” Sirius asked, his body clenched so tight, he was terrified his wind pipe might break.
James cleared his throat. “There-there was a fire-“
"Moony or Wormtail? Sirius asked.
It couldn’t be Lily. James wouldn’t be standing if it were Lily, but also if it were Lily, Marlene would be the one coming to get Sirius. The fact that it was James, the fact that he himself was unharmed meant that it was the one person Sirius never even considered.
Sirius stepped back, “No.”
"Mate, they caught her off guard. She was with her family-"
"NO!" Sirius roared, his vision blurring. "No." He repeated in a much softer tone.
James walked in and shut the door behind him. He gripped Sirius’s shoulders, almost painfully so. “I’m sorry.”
Sirius kept starting to move, but James grounded him, never letting him get far.
He panted, his eyebrows furrowed, his jaw clenching and unclenching.
"I didn’t tell her." Sirius breathed, his eyes constricted.
James’s eyes were glassy and he asked in a voice much deeper than his own. “Didn’t tell her what?”
Sirius couldn’t say it, even then.
James’s face fell completely and he sunk. “Sirius, she knew.”
Sirius wasn’t a hugger. He did it with only certain people and only when the situation called for it. But James didn’t care. James hugged his best friend and held him as he shook. Sirius didn’t really cry, it was like a spasm, a jolt of a tear, but nothing full on. It seemed he was simply too devastated to cry.